Archive for Prayer
My Prayer Life
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It is 5:27 am and I am wide awake after having a semi-good night sleep and you might be asking yourself what would anyone care about that? Well you may not but it is strange to me. I just read an old entry called “Handling Your Own Affairs” and It reminded me that I had wanted to get up every morning between 5:00 – 5:30 and spend two hours with the Lord starting and prayer and seeing where he wants me to go.
Well it is strange that I was never able to keep that up like I used to. Life for me is difficult. I get up in the morning weather at 5:00 am or 10:00 am and find myself having to take some time to just sit in bed and let my body wake up. If you have been following my blog/journal/diary then you will know that I suffer from Fibromyalgia and it takes me a long time in the morning to get going. I take a boat load of pills for that and it is related conditions and then I get going for the day.
Well this old post reminded me that back in January of 2009 Pastor Derek was preaching a series on the Power of Continual Prayer and that was around the time I made a commitment to myself to get up early before anyone in my house and spend 2 hours a day in prayer.. Well March came by I got sick and BAM! all was done.. by June nothing and by August my prayer life was next to nothing.. It was not until my mentor sparked something in me that I decided to get back in to a prayer life.
Well here we are back in March 1 year later and back in the same position trying yet again to get this right. Plus this month is a month of changes in my life. Yet I look back and it was this time last year that I was still not into a full prayer life. I look at people like Andrea Smith, Pastor Derek, My Mentor and i think to myself “they have it all together” they some how know how to work prayer into their daily schedules and still do all the things they need to get done.
So me being a single man with lots of health issues should be able to do the same.. nadda I suck at this part of my life. Yes I can do the afternoon a week at the church and get some time in with the Lord but that is not enough 1 day a week does not cut it. So I began to think to myself what is it that is keeping me from the lord?
What is it that I am doing wrong. What is it that guys like Ron, Matt, Andrea and Derek have that I don’t. Why is it a man who is called to ministry of some sort still cannot fit in even 15 min to pray. What a looser am I. If I can make time almost every day to write in my blog. then why can I not make time to pray. My priorities are out of whack.
My life this month seems out of balance. My life seems to have the scales tipping towards the world more then the things of God. Is that bad? Yes! Should I re-evaluate DUH! I really gotta sit down and look at my life and Go okay now what? What needs to change.. is it the time I go to bed.. is it the time I spend on the computer, tv, internet etc.. well DUH again this is only part of it.
If I don’t get the most important part of my life in order then nothing will ever fall into place.. I look like I have it all together but really inside my spiritual life is the biggest mess of all right now. Strongholds getting the better of me. Joke I make with friends, and even my thought life right now SUCK!
I find that when I spend time with the Lord my life always falls into place. My jokes are better, and things in ministry seem to get done. That two hours or the time I spend seems to get redeemed back. There is a no secret to going after the things of God put that first and the things of life will fall into place and when you look like you have it all together you do!
I have learned from experience and from my mentor seek the kingdom first and all the things of life will fall right into place.
Try it. I will be this week for sure. Give 15 min and find some one to keep you accountable. My Mentor has been working with someone else like this and his prayer life is off the wall. So why after 3 years with my mentor do I struggle with this. I should be way farther then ever before and yet I am not.
Am I an idiot, am I lazy none of the above. Should I make excuses? No. So what is wrong with me? At the church when I am all alone and there is no technology except my laptop and some music I am fine. At home with two computers, pvr, tv, stereo etc… I cannot turn off ministry I cannot stop working on the things that Lorna, Matt, Sunday needs to get done. Yet I know the key to getting all that done and don’t do it.
Well it is Monday the start of a new week. So lets get my butt in gear and get on this quit talking about it. Move it. Put that music on and get in to the prayer life I so want.
If there is anything the Lord is teaching me it is “I have told you enough now.. JUST DO IT!” I know things from the Lord that I really should not know anything about and yet he still shows me after such a crappy prayer life. Now is the time do it or shut up
Till Next Entry
Handling Your Own Affairs
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You might be asking yourself, what is with all the writings this past month and really I don’t know either. I am starting to wonder myself and it is because my spirit is stirring. There has been a lot going on and a lot that has been happening.
This past week I have decided to go back to getting up early every morning (5 out of 7 days and 1 afternoon a week) and get into 2 hrs of quality time with the Lord. I decided that it was time to get my house in order. It is like the apostle Paul said in 1st Timothy 3:4-5 he said
5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of God’s church?) (HSCB )
For if someone is unable to handle his own affairs, how can he take care of God’s church? (MSG )
5 (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); (KJV ) (NKJV )
For me this was a big passage. It got me to thinking that I really need to get alot of things done and get my life straight. For the past little while it seemed to me like things were getting out of control in the spiritual side. I had ask the Lord to keep me in the hidden place. I wanted everyone else around me to be put into the lime light so to speak. Well he said to me are you sure? I answered yes! He reminded me to be careful what you ask for.
Well he did it. So many times I have seen things that I thought they will ask me to do that or Pastor Derek will mention me in a sermon and BAM! It gets turned to someone else. I started to get up set and the Lord reminded me that you asked for this. I began to realize why I asked for this and started to get things in order.
The first thing I did was setup a calendar on Google and started to plot out my days so that my time with The Lord, Family and Friends were made avail. I then began to look at my ministry stuff and plot all of that in and realized I spend a lot of time at the Church , None the less I know that is where I am called to and will stick to it.
After all of that was done I realized that I still did not have enough time in there for the Lord one full afternoon a week was not enough. A prayer here a prayer there was Good but flair prayers don’t always get the job done.
Pastor Derek was teaching a series on Persistence and Diligence and talked about how he made 2 hours a day for the Lord and how that changed his life. The Lord reminded me that you used to do this. What happened to you?, Where are you my son?
So that was it! I now every morning except Tuesdays and Wednesdays get up at 5:00 – 5:30 and prepare to spend 2 hours a day with the Lord.
Now before you ask what about Tuesdays and Wednesdays, well it is like this Tuesdays my mentor has set aside for me to spend the entire afternoon in prayer and studies so that morning is free for me to get ready to come for my ministry day at This Generation and Wednesdays is my 7th day that is the day I go visit my parents, see my grandmother at the nursing home and babysit my sisters kids Lilly and Ivy (see photo on front page ) nothing interrupts that day.
How has this changed my life? well let me tell you this much, there is nothing like putting on the IHOP Live Feed and praying along side the worship and hearing what the Lord would have me pray into for my life, my friends, my family, ministry and yes even my mentor
You should try this! You do not have to do it like me but if you cannot get your own house in order how do you expect to help in the church or even mentor to others. We need to keep God first in our lives and we need to remember the important stuff in life.
So I will leave you with this thought from Matthew 16:26 it says “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” (KJV )
Till Next Entry
Random Thoughs 9 of Many: Questions
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It has been quite a long time since I wrote in my blog and if you know me I only write when I am inspired and for 90% of my writing only write when I am Holy Spirit lead. Well it has not been a great road for me spiritually since I got the flu in March. My prayer life has taken a nose dive and my strong holds are getting the better of me. I am still doing all of my ministry work and still spending time with my family. But… How can one man have it all (good friends, family, doing what he loves) and yet still feel so far away from everything?
This is a question I have been asking myself for a long time now. I feel very blessed to have all that I have but yet feel so far away from everything. I am embarking on a move to Whitby while the rest of my family is just doors away from each other in Oshawa .. I feel so blessed to have this bachelor apt. But.. I am sad that I am going to be so far away from the family. I could not believe that with all the trouble I had going to see the apartment that the Lord still kept it open for me. It amazed me that the Lord can still provide for his people no matter how far from him we are.
But here is what has been really on my mind..
I have been in ministry for 3 years come September and the strides I have made, makes me realize how far I have come and what I have come out of. But I ask my self why me? Why would the Lord want to help a guy like me? Why did he place me in this position? Sure there are things about my ministry work that could use some improvement and there are some things that I have to learn to let go of. But WOW if you saw me back in 2006 and then see me now even I amaze myself.
But I still wonder sometimes is this for me.. should I really be here and other times I know this is the place that God has always had in store for me. I have found My Seed of Greatness and I know My Purpose in His Kingdom. There is no other place I would rather be then in ministry inside or outside the church.. Some may say this is crazy, Other may not understand and yet I just love all the hours that I put in to my work.. Weather on Sunday in the Sound Booth or Tuesday as Pastor Matt ‘s Assistant or Thursday for Durham House of Prayer I love what I do.
But then their is the times when I look at myself in the mirror and wonder what can I improve about myself.. I remember a line in the Optimist Clubs Creed that says “To give so much time to the improvement of yourself, that you have no time to criticize others.” and lately it should read “To give so much time to criticizing others (even in private) that I have no time to improve myself.” why because I have been doing a lot of looking around at what I do and where I do it and find reasons to find fault and want to take over and micro manage it. I even stated to a friend that a Pastor is doing that and then looked around and found myself to be doing the same thing. So I decided to start to letting go of the micro managing and let other comes into their own Glory.. I also vowed to myself not to criticize other as much and help them more.
I came to a revelation of this after listing to my audio bibles (NKJV, NASB, NCV & NLT) and I got to Matthew 7 about judging others and it hit me then while listing to Verses 3-5.. It Hit Me This Way (in the NCV Version)
3 “Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend’s eye, but you don’t notice the big piece of wood in my own eye? 4 How can you say to my friend, ‘Let me take that little piece of dust out of your eye’?? Dummy Look at yourself! I still have that big piece of wood in my own eye. 5 Me A hypocrite! First, take the wood out of my own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friend’s eye.
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I came to a even bigger revelation of what this chapter was saying when I had a chat from a friend of mine from DHOP and she opened my eyes to things that I should be busy changing about myself and my ministry work before I start to quote unquote ragging on others.
The problem is that I want things done a certian way and I get this attitude that only I can do it right so I tend to take over it myself. At times this can be a good thing and other times this is holding the team that I oversee from coming into their God given glory. I remember a time when my mentor put me on a two week break and how much it killed me to watch others take over things that I was told I could help with or that I knew others were not doing right. I think this taught me a valuable lesson but when I sit back and look at the last 4 months I realize that I am slipping back in to my complacent, only I can do it right ways.
I am tired of just doing ministry. sick and tired of letting my strong holds get the better of me. I don’t want to just do ministry anymore I want to make sure that my heavenly father goes before me and sets the way. I don’t want my heavenly father on the day of Judgment to say “Depart from me I never knew you” that line scares me. I would rather know what the Lord wants for me more then doing any ministry work. I don’t want to end up being the false prophet that the Lord talks about in Matthew 7: 15-23
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I am coming to a realization that All Works is no substitue for spending time with the Lord no matter what time of the day you do it. Make time for the Lord. We always say that it is not the amount of time you spend but that you spend it.. but have we ever thought about pushing ourselves to go beyond our usual time with the Lord? Mabey that extra min or more you spend is that time when God will say something that may give you the answer to what you have been praying for.So if I can write this how come I cannot do this.. why is everthing so hard for me these days. Why am I feeling this way?
There are things that the Lord told me while in the prayer room at the church and I recieved them but did not know how much what was told to me would become so hard. But I digress I am rambling so I will stop now and wish everyone a very pleasent good night sleep and all the best for I am at Church all day long.
Be Blessed!
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Protected: A Most Wonderful Dream
Posted by: | CommentsMy Roots
Posted by: | CommentsWoW!,
I cannot believe it! How long it has been since I wrote anything.. But have you ever had a time where you cannot write anything at all? I have.. you see most of my writings come from what the Holy Spirit puts on my heart and if I am not connected to him in prayer then I ususally have nothing to write.
Lately I have been going though a change in my life both in the flesh meaning I am looking for an apt. and in the spirit. You may ask what is going on in the spirit? Well quite a lot but mostly in the area of media clean out.. the lord has been speaking to me on what kinds of shows I watch and what they portray or glorify. One show in particular is a show called Ugly Betty.
When this show started it was about a girl trying to make it in a world that she (by world standards) di not belong even her boss did not want her around because she did not fit the “type” of person suited for the job. Well low and behold he was working in the fashion magazine industry and she clearly was not “pretty”, “skinny” or wore the prada or gucci clothing. She was just an ordinary girl trying to full fill a dream or even her destiny as the show went on it became more about her bosses infedelities, money managment and being on the family dime. As seson two progressed into season 3 it became about momma dramma, family issues, divorce, re-marriage etc.. you can see where the show was headded.
I began to look at the show more and more and say to myself is this really what the Lord would want our kids to see? I thought to myself NO! then I thought well this is just talking about what is going on in soceity so I kept watching and the more I did the more the Lord spoke to me about it and then I realized one day what was really being glorified. It was not the money issues or family problems that could be fixed, it was the sex the lies and how much back stabbing was going on to get what the people in the show wanted.
I began to see that the more this show went on the more it went from making it in a world that did not belong to a world of lies and sex.. Is this really what christians should be watching? Is this what the Lord would want to have us take in.. We have to take a look at what we are watching on TV
Okay this is really sounding like a post I wrote before but the Lord was still working on this with me. At first I did not want to listen I justified it and went about recording and saving each show to my PVR but as time went on and I began to get into daily prayers I began to see alot of things that needed to be cleaned out. You see if we don’t get to the root of the issue it will always be there.
Its like a tree if you know the tree is dead but only take down the bad fruit each year you will still get rotten fruit. But if chop down that tree remove the root and plant a new one you get new Good fruit. I am learning more and more that we need to remove the root and the bad fruit will die along with it. I want only good fruit in my life. This could mean finding out why we are always so negative and it still works out or why we make friends with technology before making friends with humans/people or what ever it is your root is.
Find your root and remove it.. Chop it down! Find some people you can be accoutable to and make sure that they hold you to it. I am so thankful for the people the Lord has sent me and I know I can get rid of my roots as well.
Random Thoughts 5 of Many
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It has been sometime since I have posted in my journal/blog/diary whatever you would like to call it.. non the less it has been sometime because I have taken some time to hear from the Holy Spirit and hear what he would have to say for my life.
My Good friend Lorna from Durham House of Prayer gave me an incredible teaching on how to meditate in God’s word and how to hear from God about his scriptures and get revolation of his word. I was so engulfed in it the other day I could not stop. You knew that this was a teaching from the Holy Spirit. I could sense him in the room like I had never sensed before. I was just amazed at what the teaching had to offer.
This is a season for me of Testing and Transformation I have never been more excited in a season then I have since the Lord brought me back to the church. I have never seen more change in me then in these last few months. Even in my family, friends and relationships things are changing all around. Getting up between 4:00 – 5:00 6 days a week to get into God’s word, pray and maybe even listen to a sermon or two has been so much fun and I look forward to it each and every day.
People have said to me that I am starting to look good, there is light in my eyes and many other things. I accept that with all Grace and Humility because I know I have the Lord inside of me and he is the one who can do all things. I am just the vessel in which the Lord is using me. Latley I have been praying for things that I have needed and not much prayer for others. I know this may sound selfish and mabey even one sided but as for this season I need to get some things in order for me to move into the next.
One important thing is to get out of my current place where I am living and into what I would call a real apartment. The second thing I have been praying for is kinda special to me. I won’t go into great detail but there is a women I really like and I have been praying for Guidence and Direction on how to go about pursuing her. There is something about her that I really like about her and really want to do this acording to God’s will. My Pastor preached a really good sermon on this topic that we posted on the embassy | this generation site that you can listen to below this post. This had to be the best sermon in the whole dating series that he taught on. (see below this entry)
But enough about that.. This week for me has been a hard one. I missed my prayers on Thursday both my morning ones and the ones before DHOP and wow the whole day felt off and the whole day felt different.. even doing sound felt off. What was so funny is that the whole DHOP team felt it was the best night of sound that I had ever done. I don’t know what it was but the Lord was working with me as I turned each knob, raised and lowered each slider but what ever We (the Lord and I) did it worked out perfectly.
I Love what I do and I love working with the team both embassy | this generation and Durham House of Prayer and there is nothing in the world that could top that.. well other then my time with the Lord. I look forward to each and every time that I can serve.
We just reciently had our All Night Prayer (ANP) and well let me say it was one of war both in the corporate and in the personal. That whole day nothing was going right for me. That whole day nothing felt good. I knew there was a change in the schedule, I knew that there was something going on that needed to change but I just was not feeling good about anything.
I got to the church to setup and that was fine.. until the sound person came for our first Worship Team and started to play with the sound board and learn how it works. I was not impressed I need my music on I needed to feel the bass in the room and I needed to prepare my heart for ANP and well just him screwing with the board was not working. I just needed my music and I wanted it my way. Even the recordings did not go as I needed them. Finally i picked up on an attack of the enemy and as Durham House of Prayer began to sin You won’t relent I got on my knees and and I asked the lord just to help me and give me what I needed to get the recording right.
Well I went back up to the sound board and just as I did Pastor Matt turned up the bass guitar and we got some in the recordings. I never felt more stupid in all my life. Why did I not pickup on that right away? Why did I get so upset and feel like I did not belong? Why did not I spend extra time in prayer for ANP that week? I don’t know even my mentor picked up on something was not right and he prayed through it.
I Learned something that day.. This is a season that is also a season of learning and teaching myself stuff. God has given me people around me to help guide me and keep me on the right path. I know you know who you are and I thank you for that. but alast I am falling a sleep at the computer so enjoy the sermon and I’ll be back with another entry soon
Godly Conduct in Relationships
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embassy | this generation makes the news
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embassy | this generation makes the news! This article was posted in the Durham College Chronicle newspaper by my good and close friend about our All Night Prayer meetings. Enjoy!
Praying To God All Night Long
By Paul Bates
With the debate ‘Does God Exist’ going on at Durham College, it brings attention to churches and some of the programs that they run.
One such place is the Embassy of the Kingdom of God Church in Oshawa where, on the first Friday night of the month this non-denominational church houses an all-night prayer from 10 p.m. – 4 a.m.
Derek Schneider, pastor for the youth portion of the church, started the all-night prayer about a year and a half ago, but credits the idea to a mentor of his, Pastor Sunday Adelaja, a pastor in Ukraine who has a congregation of 30,000 and runs an all-night prayer at his church.
“I was feeling like we should have all-night prayer meetings going on in the church. I felt like it would draw us closer together with God.”
“Believe it or not God spoke to me at that time and said, ‘how can you expect all your young adults to pray all night if you’ve never prayed all night.’”
He went to the church one Friday night and with no couches or anything to sleep on, Schneider tried to pray all night and he thought it was the worst prayer time he ever had.
It all felt right to Schneider when he attended his father’s house, and his father told him of a dream he had.
“In this dream there was a huge lineup of people waiting to get into this one room, and in the room there was a big banquet table filled will all kinds of incredible food. It was like a banquet from God… that huge lineup of people couldn’t get into that room to eat of that food until you went in first.”
This put the idea into motion, so they set the date for a following Friday night but Schneider was scared. “I was very frightened thinking what if nobody shows up, what if I am the only one there? I don’t know how to lead people all night.” But when he arrived there were 100 people waiting to join him.
Since the church started the all-night prayer meetings they opened it from the youth of the church to the entire church and regularly see about 300 people.
One of the youth members of the church, Matthew Dykstra, has been attending the all-night prayers since it began.
“It is beneficial to those who wish to attend,” he said. “You can spend an hour, two hours, however much you want to spend…. It was something that felt that it went on forever, especially when it first started, but as we went the months on you could see that the prayers that we were praying for, the community, the politicians, the pastors within the church, you could see the change within them.”
For those who think this is just an Embassy church event, Schneider wanted to make it clear that everyone is allowed to attend.
From URL: http://chronicle.durhamcollege.ca/story.php?id=3633&issue=
My Waters
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I cannot believe how long it has been since I wrote an entry in my blog/journal/diary or what ever you want to call it and I cannot believe the things that have happened since that time. I was able to testify of what the Lord has been doing in my life with my getting up early and doing my prayers and reading my bible and still going to Durham House of Prayer , still doing my usual Sunday stuff and who can forget my Tuesday stuff at embassy | this generation and loving every minute of it.
But… there is something that has been troubling me. Its not a big deal, or is it? I have been working on reading my bible and was working on the New Testament in order reading along with my audio bible . But the Lord took me past the book of John and into the writings of Paul and I am marveled at how each time Paul went back to a place he was more wiser and the words he received from God were more intense and with more authority then the last. I just recently finished reading Acts and Romans.
His writings in 1st Corinthians (as of Feb 09) amazed me the most. I find that in all of the New Testament that I have read (up to now) that his most powerful words were to the city of Corinth. What amazed me is that the City of Corinth was in such disarray and in such sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 5:1-13) that even the Christians of the day could not fight it. As I was reading this is brought to me something that I had been dealing with. Let me tell you some of the back story and all of this will make since.
At the church we had a guest speaker Larry Randolph and he spoke a message called “Your Waters” (Sunday November 16, 2008 PM Service) and he spoke that your waters can be tainted or made pure just by the words spoken over your life, things you have done and even the way you feel about yourself. Well I never took this to heart but weeks later it started to hit me what he meant. The Lord started to send me people to help me though some of the deep roots that were still muddling my waters. I had never been more scared to start dealing with this in my whole life.
As the Lord started to revel to me what those waters and roots were that had to be dealt with the more I started to understand why I do some of the things that I do. I began to understand why relationships did not work out, why some of the things in ministry I want to do never work out. I began to see that some things in my root system went back all the way to elementary school. Now if any of you know me you know that I like things in a certain order.. with this I had expected God to reveal to me everything in order by date. This did not happen and so I was a little shocked but I wrote things down as he gave them to me.
I did not make since to me why they were in the order they were until in a meeting with the friends who were going to help me out with these waters that I understood why the Lord wanted me to deal with them in that order. Well there was one that I had marked down as #7 and as I was reading 1 Corinthians 5 the Lord started to move that one up to #1 of all the things I had to deal with. If you have the New American Standard Version of the bible then the sub-title on the top will read Immorality Rebuked.
You see I gave my heart to the Lord when I was 6 years old at the most widely known play Heaven’s Gates & Hell’s Flames and since then I struggled with living in the kingdom life and what the world had to offer. I was never that much of a rebellious kid always honored my parents, love my sister and tried to do my best. But there was always something that troubled me. I since elementary school struggled with self esteem issues, bulling, who I was and the fact that I always felt like an outsider. My mom knew that I was to work in ministry and I rebelled from that.
I struggled the most with sins of the (personal) flesh.. the world was telling me yes it is okay and my heart was telling me that this was wrong. I had no clue that sins of the (personal) flesh was a sin until I started coming to embassy | this generation and really started to get into Pastor Derek’s sermons and reading the word. Since I was 12 years of age I struggled with this and still do. I know now that I will get through this but this is a long hard road for me. This is one of the biggest roots I have to deal with. This is the major mud in my water. This is the main reason why (I believe) my relationships all fail.
I could not believe that the Lord on a Sunday morning would want me to deal with that right before Church and ministry work. Why then Lord? I asked, Why Now? as I got down on my hands and knees to pray. Why Lord? Why? I still don’t understand why and I may never now why but I will just obay and work through it.
Your waters can get muddied up by so many things.. I can be a word spoken over you, a self thought, or even something in your past that you have not dealt with. We all have to take a look once and a while and ask God to reveil things that we have to work though. Pastor Dennis Wiedrick did a teaching in his intercession called on Transitional Prayer. In it he talked about moving from one Season to Another and that if we do not get to the root of the issue we will take that un-removed root into the next and taint that season of our life.
My goal is that the next season will start off as a clean one with little to no roots to be pulled. Little to no issues from my past. I want 2009 to be a new year. I want the tree to be trimmed down all the left over roots removed and start the next season fresh. My goal is to move into a new apartment with a room devoted to sleep and prayer and would like to start dating.
There is a young lady I fancy and that I work with at the church but I don’t know how she feels about me. I also don’t want to rush this season of my life right now. I am hoping that God will help me work though my roots and release me to ask her out.
In Song of Solomon 2:8-9 there is a line that say “He is looking through the windows, He is peering though the lattice” and as I worship God and I watch her (from time to time) from my lattice (the sound booth) I am just marveled at what a women of God she is, I am marveled at how she prays, how kind she is, how beautiful on the inside she is. The outside appearance does not matter its her heart for God that draws me to her, its her love for prayer and her devotion to the ministry she is involved in. If I could only have half her devotion I could strive to be like her.
But I have to be the man of God that I am called to be. I have to do what God wants me to do for my life. As a single man I have to work though knowing God now. Being single is a gift that gives us time to be in the presence of God to know what he wants for our lives, were he wants us in His Kingdom and for us to hear from our Father in Heaven. Although in the flesh I feel alone and most days lonely I am excited to spend time with my heaenly father and just to get to know him. There will come a time when I shall leave home and become one with the women God will have as my wife (Ephesians 5:31). But until that day I am happy to just be one with God.
But I am off the beating path again and mostly because I love to write what the Lord gives me but it is 5:16 am and I want to go be one with God now.. so have a great day
Be Blessed!
Enjoy The Sermon from Larry Randolph called Your Waters Here
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Consistent Devotional Life
Posted by: | CommentsHello,
It is 12:50 am and I am finding it hard to sleep tonight, part of that is I just wanted to spend some time with my sister and we played the ever classic Super Nintedo Entertainment System but… that did not help me get to sleep at all. Today has been an interesting day for me. I woke up at 6:00 am which is not my usual 4:00 am prayer time and sat down and got ready to do my prayers. I prayed that the Lord would help me to understand my bible and help to open it up in a better way then ever before. As I sat down, turned on my audio bible and started to follow along with my New American Standard Bible , I feel a sleep again and woke up at 10:00. I was not impressed.
I could attribute that to a long day serving my young adult’s group embassy | this generation and that I need to make Wednesdays my day of double manna and get the sleep I need to recuperate. If you don’t understand this then you should listen to a sermon series my pastor just finished on the Power of a Consistent Devotional Life (see audio below this message) in it he makes reference to the scripture from Exodus 16:4-5 where God made manna (bread) rain down from heaven and the the people of Israel were to take only what they needed for that day and on the 6th day God would give them enough to sustain them for the 6th and 7th day. Pastor Derek preached that what ever day we choose as our 6th day God will sustain us for the 7th.
Manna is in reference to God’s Word. We must be in constant prayer and the reading of God’s Word to sustain us in our life. I find that days when I miss a great time of Worship , Praise, Getting in to the Word and Prayer my day is shot. I cannot fuction, sermons don’t get edited, and nothing I want to get to really gets done. Just as one example I tried all day to get into editing two sessions of House of Prayer and Yesterdays Sermon and that did not happen, I got though one house of prayer sermon, had dinner and crashed in front of the TV . I felt lost today.
But my prayers these days have been feeling waited down even the most simpliest of prayers have felt like there is a weight to them. I cannot put my finger on it but every time I get into prayer they seem so heavy. I don’t know if it is me or if others are feeling it, but I know this much there is somthing going on. I would love to know what the Lord is doing in my life right now. I know that I was told this is a time of Testing and a time to just work on getting to the deep roots of some things that have not been delt with.
I am officially on my 4th week of getting up early and spending time with God and just loving it. I would do anything to spend time in his word. I just wonder why the last two Wednesdays I am so tired and beat. I love to pray and I love to interceed for people more then myself. I feel really blessed with all that I have from my ODSP to Family to Volunteering in the Church I love what I do and Have. I just feel selfish asking God for things for me when I am so blessed. I would rather take care of the needs of my family, friends and ministry then for myself maybe that is wrong but that is how I feel. I would rather pray for anything else but me.
I am finding it so much easier to turn off the TV these days and spend time with God, I find it so much more easy to connect and get into the presence of God. I have days were I cannot connect with him and it bugs me alot when I cannot. I don’t have to feel him to know he is there but there are days when I just need a bit of his presence to let me know I am on the right track. I love getting a word from God to deliver to others and I love to hear what God is saying to people through me.
I am finding that Ministry and Computer is only one portion of who I am. I am finding that I am a child of the most high and that works will not get me saved. I need to focus on the “Giver and not the Gifts” and trust that all the things that we have to get done in a day will come to pass. I know that if I focus on him everything else is gravy!
Thats it for me. I hope that you get some sleep and see you all tomarrow
Be Blessed!
Listen to A Consistant Devotional Life Here
Part 1:
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Part 2:
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Part 3:
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Random Thoughts 4 of Many
Posted by: | CommentsHello,
As I sit here to tired to sleep and just amazed at what has transpired this week I am very happy to say that this week is almost to a close. Monday is coming and it is the start of another fine week. This week as I posted before has been a hard week of getting in to God’s presence and getting into his word. But today as I was praying for some friends I just felt the weight of his presence all over me. That is something that I have not felt in a while. I was amazed at the weight that this prayer had carried. You see my hope is that they get saved and that they come to know who the lord is and how he loves them. But I was more amazed at where the Lord took me this morning. I cannot begin to explain it but I can say this much it was totally awesome!
I just got off the phone after a long conversation with one of my close friends and fellow Creative Arts team member. If there is anything that amazed me it was how the converstation went from church talk to just how you are doing and how well we have gotten to know each other. I truly value this brother in Christ. I trully value this person who has become a friend more then anything in the world. I really value him for who he is and not what he can offer our ministry. But I laugh as I type these words and Laugh because my mentor said these same words to me back in the summer of last year. God has taken me through a lot in the last little while and there is nothing more I want then to be the man that God has called me to be.
I want to presue God more and more. I want to know God is such a deep level that nothing can stop me. I want people to know that they have seen God when they see me. I want to know God so deep that I will never be the same. As God moves us from Season to Season we have to be ready we have to have all the baggage from the last season cleaned up before we enter the next. I believe that as this season is a season of testing for me that I will be able to beat this and get all of my baggage cleaned up. I am thankful for the people that God has placed in my life and I am thankful for the many things he will do with me.
Most of all and I said it before I just want to know God and know who he is. No TV, Internet, Computer(s), will ever replace knowing God.. Even as I look for a new aprtment and as I look to get out of my current location I am asking God for what I need but I am making the sacrifice of NO TV! I want to spend all of my time and energy on knowing him and my ministry. TV can be the worst thing right now in my life. I want to go to bed with God speaking to me and wake up with a message from God.
Can I go without TV? Well those of you who know me will know that this is a big sacrifice I am making and this is one that I am willing to do. I will beat this I will know God is a deeper level. But don’t worry I will still have my internet and I will still have my e-mail and phone so you will still be able to contact me.
I am wipped out and ready for bed. So Be Blessed and See you all in Church Tomarrow!
