The Will of The Lord?
By · CommentsHello,
In the last few months I am been in a mental battle and in a battle of weather I fit in or not or weather I belong where I volunteer. Well.. This morning as I was getting ready for church something hit me. I asked myself this question
“How Do You Know If You Are In or On Your Way To The Destiny That God Has For You?”
I have been working in the church Week and Half shy of 4 years and started to really wonder this question I look at people like Pastor Matt, Pastor Derek, Faytene Kryskow and Even Ron Prestage and wonder am I in the place that God has for me. Am I really to do what the Lord wants?
My Mother always told me I would work in the church, do something in ministry and do something for the Lord. I worked for years to get away from that thinking that my computer talent would take me to places other then inside the church and Well my talent only brought me back inside the church
My talent only got me to meet people I never thought that I would meet, people that would call on me for help to further a ministry and I will never ever leave unless asked. But I still question this. I still question all the people that have told me that I am right under the will of the Lord.
My Mother, Father, Mentors, Friends, Even The Head Pastor at my Church said it to me but I have been in a lot of self doubt about it and really is it the tree or the fruit.. I always tell people when they complain a lot about the same issue time and time again
“If you don’t like the fruit… Check the tree!” Its a slight take on Psalm 1 where is we are planted to the Tree of Living water our fruit will not wither
I wonder if my tree needs to be pruned I wonder if my tree needs to have the dead roots re-examined. One will never know. Oh Well keep praying keep writing and get into the Lords face and maybe the answers will come
Till Next Entry
A Silent Sufferer: People Just Don’t Understand
By · CommentsHello,
Over the past few weeks I have been in a stuggle with myself, my disability and weather or not I really fit in where I volunteer and pour my heart out. I have been in more of a mental battle then a emotional one. It was not until yesterday that my emotions got the best of me and I like a volcano errupted
You see I suffer From Fibromyalgia or Fibro (click link for video).. A Disability that effects Women more then Men but yet I ended up with it. I have no problem telling people about my disability and letting them know that I have it and some of the symptoms of it.
This is a hidden disability (see video ) I may look fine or I may look like things are okay but most days things are not I suffer in silence and then at time errupt (see video ) A lot of this has to do with how I am feeling at that moment, how did I sleep the night before, how many times during the night did I get up in pain.
The one part of my disability I never like to tell any one is the part called Fibofog (see video ) this is were at times I forget to do something or think I have done it or even forget that you told me something or the worst part loose track of the topic of conversion. I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT!
This I find happens a lot where I volunteer I will have a task to do and think that everything is the way it should be and then when it comes time to submit the task it is not what should have been done. Little parts of the task get forgotten. So I make excuses, lash out or even get offended when someone has to remind me or clean up behind me.
I just wish that people would take the time to understand what I am going through. I wish people would take the time to be patient with me. I wish this would just go away. I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT! I have been suffering since 2000 and have seen multiple drs and have had dozen x-rays, 2 mris, 2 sleep studies, bi-weekly B12 shots and medication after medication
I know where I volunteer they are very supportive but I guess I could open up more. I find it easier to open up to people who have disabilities (CP & SB ) and can understand what I am going through even if they don’t have Fibro. I guess I could try to be a little understanding with them as well but I am tired.
I don’t know how much longer I can fight, how much longer can I take the medication and how much longer I can I see drs for the same crap month after month medication after medication.
Maybe I am just venting and maybe I need this once and a while but really this is tough to deal with. I want it to go away, I want to be normal, but I guess this is just the way I am and will have to learn to deal with it. Fibro Fog and all the related conditions to my fibro. (IBS & Overactive Bladder and more)
Till Next Entry
Okay,
So you have read my first entry and realized that we save a lot of data but you cannot afford an external drive or are still saving for one what do you do in the mean time. Here is what I used to do before I had an external drive
1. I would always keep my data sorted in to folders and make sure that I knew where everything is from documents to music to my videos I knew where all my stuff was. That was always the first step
2. I would get some blank CDS/DVDS and would make sure that I was able to make a backup to some sort of blank media. In the days of zip drives I would store all of my data on to blank zip discs that were 100 megs each. This would include all of my drivers, program installers and of course music and documents. But now that we are in the DVD era it is time to move forward
3. Once everything was backed up and labled I would put everything in a safe location and make sure I knew where it was when it came time to access the data when I needed to recover a file or re-do my computer
When you want to backup your data make sure you have a good program that will burn data cds for PC I recommend Nero and for the Mac I recommend Roxio’s Toast but any program that can burn data cds will do well. Nero even has an BurnLite version of the their program that will burn data dvds without having to buy the full program
But this is not always a safe option I am finding DVDs that I made 2 years ago and the data is not being read. Always make sure that you have an alternate way to get the data that you need to save. I find that certain brands of dvds don’t last as well.
I have used LG, Sony, Memorex, Maxell and even Verbatim and found that the best brand is Sony they even after 4 years still run the best I can still get my data and never had a disc go down unless I scratched it. All the others I did not know from disc to disc what to do. It is crazy to see that from brand to brand how they last over the years. So be careful and watch out
When ever you backup your data weather to a cd, dvd or portable hard drive you always run the risk of loosing data, I have learned that nothing lasts forever and some times I even find discs and I think to myself “when did I save this” But always remember backups are good for the recovery of the data when you need it.
Backup and Backup Often!
Greetings From Owen Sound
By · CommentsGreetings from Owen Sound,
Here I am finally taking some time off and spending time with the family.. My Parents, My sister and even the kids came along for this trip. It has been an exciting journey. At first I was not going to bring my laptop but when I heard that dad was bringing his I broke and brought mine.
So far we have had an amazing time. We have not done that much but that is what traviling for me is all about just sitting around and doing nothing. So I put my churches live feed on and began to type.
We are right now in a private camp ground and just enjoying the morning sun. What beauty is all around us that we miss when we are in the city I truly am enjoying myself and just loving the time I can spend in the nature and with the family. What could be better nature, the church live and my laptop.
I do miss each and everyone of you back in Oshawa and all though this is a short trip I will be back on Monday Afternoon and back to the grind.
C U All When I Get Back
An Update
By · CommentsHello,
Here I am sitting at the church listing to Lorna play after just having been done at the Dr’s office and really just thinking to myself.. what an amazing 4 weeks I have never been more excited about life then in a long long time. I recently started dating the most amazing women in the world. I never thought that I would ever date her in a million years. We met when we were 10 and well from time to time we lost track of each other and in the last few months have been connecting.
When I love about her most is how she is so independent.. how she takes charge of what she wants and goes for it. When she knows what she wants there is no stopping her. She is so amazing a person inside and out.. We talk about everything.. there is almost nothing that I don’t tell her. Late night chats on the phone.. time apart so I can do my church thing and then we catch up. She is so supportive of what I do here at the church. She is all around the perfect women (at least in my eyes)
What else is been going on.. well not much… I am turning 31 on Saturday and going from there. I am going to be visiting with a friend of mine who is also having a birthday on the same day. So it should be an exciting weekend. This weekend is also fathers day and my mothers birthday all in the same day.. How fun is that. So this should be a very exciting week.
As for the church we just finished up the online store and its products. take a look at www.theembassyofgod.com/store/ Pastor Matt and Ron Prestage did an awesome job on the covers for the cds and boxes and I worked hard on getting the sermons in order and edited for sale. We together were as Ron said a machine in getting the website done and running. WordPress is the most awesome tool in the world for this stuff. We are going to unveil it to the church this Sunday
What else has been going on.. well just doing my stuff for my self.. I am working on getting all of my movies and tv shows on to my portable hard drive and into my Itunes so that I can watch them on the computer at anytime I want.. I have my MacBook setup to run off the TV . I can in my Itunes watch anything I want from movies to tv to listing to music It Rocks! Plus I am still doing all of the church stuff that I normally do.
Really working hard at the church these days.. The store took up most of our time.. but I am still doing sound and media work.. Joined the intercessor team for the Worship team and working hard on my proverbs study. My gal is now doing it along side me. She is always challenging me to go higher in the things of the Lord and I love her for that. She wants to make sure that we have put God first before anything else in our relationship and that has always been my primary goal with this relationship is to put him first. She is awesome!
Not much more then that is going on. I really don’t have much to say. So I will close for now.
Till Next Entry
A Journey
By · CommentsHello,
I have just been though a month of “Gardening” or what some people would call removing old roots and I have come to realize that one there was a lot of crap in my life that I had to deal with and secondly there was a lot of stuff I had held on too for way to long. As I sat back and asked the Lord to reveal what he had been telling me I began to realize that a lot of this was holding me down health wise. I never knew how much anger, resentment and defensiveness could keep a person in bondage.
But this was only the beginning of what was to come in my life. I never realized how much this was going to change me and how much this was going to leave me with a very empty feeling. I have been walking around with an empty spirit, holes in the garden were anger, resentment and hurt once was. I am now at a point in this time of transition where I need to be filling it with things of the Lord. But what really is that?
How do you begin to fill the holes that were once full of garbage. How do you begin to find what it is that you need to not walk around lost and confused. Well the answer is not that simple. I am only in the 3rd week of April and I still have yet to find out what this is.
I cannot believe that taking the month away from things and taking the time to look into all these roots was only the beginning. My mentor said that the Lord is never done with us until we are in heaven. I want to be the best person that God has called me to be. I want to be the best leader that I can be. But what does this look like. What does this really mean?
The question is not that simple. There is a lot of sacrifice that has to be made when do this. I just got through an intense 5 Days in His Presence at the church and I went non-stop with everything. I ran hard and really never took any time to just sit and soak in what the Lord was doing. I did get hit with stuff and was able to give a word to a friend but really never just sat. I hated not being able to sit and take in and I love it all at the same time.
Strage from a guy who after 5 days has not done anything in the Sound booth on Tuesdays. I really want to lead and over see things rather then just doing. This is a hard concept for me. Especially when one place I volunteer @ never schedules Media Shout people separate from Recording. I always end up doing Media Shout when one of the ladies is on Recording. So I never just get to take in and hear from the Lord. I do hear from the Lord when things are going on but not my undivided attention.
Sometimes we need to just sit in his presence and take in what the Lord is doing. We need to know what he wants for our lives and what he wants us to change. I know this because he asked me to remove my cable tv from my home and to spend more time in his word and just listing to what the people around me (mentors, friends, pastors etc.) are saying. So this is what I am trying to do. Now I know it only takes a few min a day to be in his presence but there is so much more to it then that.
I am finding that if we really want to live the life that the Lord is calling us to live that we must first put him first. Secondly be willing to leave everything behind and thirdly do what the Lord commands of us. If we can do that and be willing to sacrifice everything then we can do anything. We are called to be Sons and Daughters of the most high God and to be secure in that. If we can get that in our hearts then everything else is gravy!
Here is my thing though. It is hard I know that through Christ all things are possible (Philippines 4:13) but I am just encountering a few things lately that have got me held down, confused and at times upset. These situations are leaving me lost, clouded and confused at what to do. That may seem strange but we all encounter things that do this to us. A few of the situations I have had to leave in the Lords hand and walk away and just continue to pray for them. I know that is hard!
The decrement team say to me during 5 Days in His Presence that if it becomes a burdon and it starts to feel really heavy then it is time to walk away and leave it in the Lords hands. But continue to pray for that situation. We must continue to pray till we see the break though that the Lord want to show/give us until then we are not doing praying.
Starting this month I am joining the prayer team at our Young Adults department and I have never been more thrilled in my life to be on this team. I love to be in prayer, I love to study his word. My only down fall is concentration and time. But with the added bonus of having no tv except the videos and movies on my portable hard drive and dvds I should be able to make the time to sit in his presence and learn what it is he has for my life.
But I now have to get ready for church. Have A Blessed Sunday!
I do though want to leave you with this video from Misty Edwards call “My Soul Longs For You” just sit back and listen to the words as Misty Sings
http://www.vimeo.com/5789875Till Next Entry
5 Days in His Presence
By · CommentsHello From 5 Days in His Presence!
I am here at 5 Days in His Presence Doing Media & Technical Stuff and I am very excited what the Lord is Doing in the days. Right now I am typing this and listing to Faytene Kryskow and with the team working on the website @ http://5days.theembassyofgod.com and just wanted to let you all know that you can keep up with all the happings on our media page.
As the days of this conference go on there will be a massive amount of Sermons, Videos and Photos added here. Please come back often and look around.
Keep checking the media sections of the site and keep me posted on how you are doing.
Till Next Entry
Be Blessed!
The Digital Pack-rat: Organizing Data Between Computers
By · CommentsHello,
In the age of every thing is on the computer or lets look it up on the internet most of us would tend to have one or more computer in our homes, work places and even schools. But how do you keep all of your files organized and what is the best way to do this?
I have found this to be a difficult answer. This week I had the pleasure of being given a MacBook and it is one of the best things I have ever received and as I began to put all of my files on the Mac from my Windows XP Desktop & Laptop I realized how much duplication I had and how much useless data I was saving.
Now I know you are wondering what kind of PCs do I have? So hear is the run down.
My Desktop
AMD equivalent P3 Processor
512 Megs of Ram
60 Gig Primary Hard Drive
80 Gig Secondary Hard Drive
CD/DVD Burner
CD Burner
ATI Dual Screen Video Card (Standard Monitor/RCA)
Acer Wide Screen Monitor (I Think 24″)
Windows XP Professional
My Laptop
Pentium 4 Processor
256 Megs of Ram
30 gig Primary Hard Drive
CD/DVD Burner (Needs Repair)
Dual Screen Display (Standard Monitor/S-Video)
Windows XP Home
Now that you know what kind of PCs I had here is what the problem was in now having a Mac. I have two external hard drives
Acromdata
500 Gig
formated FAT32
Western Digital
1 tb (tera-byte)
formated NTFS
Now saving data to them on a Windows XP Computer is not a problem. Both drives read and write just fine. But here is the problem, the FAT32 formated drive reads and writes fine on my MacBook but the NTFS drive is read only as Mac does not support the Microsoft owned NTFS file format. So what to do?
Well the first thought was keep the first drive as is. The second drive was more of a problem, I began to think what if I split the drive in to two partitions half for Reading and Writing on a Windows PC and half for reading and writing on a Mac computer/laptop? Easy? No!
First problem where to put over 490+ gigs of data off as a backup before I do this. Well this was a no go I decided I would try and split the drive and risk loosing my data. That failed the free program I was using stopped at 9% of the total process. CRAP! Tried with another demo program it was going to take 12+ days to get this done. Okay not a solution as I was 1hr from leaving to go to the church
Get to the church and talked with my friend who is a Mac expert and well that was not a dead end but was he showed me was going to wipe out the entire drive. Loose all my data no freakin’ way. What is my option?
I started to sort out all of the files on both drives and my Macs internal hard drive. Here is when I realized something. “I have 3 copies of my music” “I have saved how much in videos?” So quick take my NTFS drive on a windows computer found out I have 380.5 gigs of just videos, now what to do?
I know what I want out of the drive but how to accomplish that? Do I really want to loose all of my stuff? Do I buy another drive and format it for my Mac? This might be a good option but who has $119.00 to throw away? My NTFS drive is less then half full. Crap Again!
This is where I sit.. Stucker then Stuck! I know I can save my data like Optimist Club of Oshawa and my IHOP stuff no problem on my other drive. I did move all my personal documents to the Fat32 drive and am getting rid of all my music on the NTFS one but again what do I do?
Well here are some tips I have learned in only day and a half.
1. External Hard Drives are great for backup
don’t backup the same data ex Music/MP3 files on more then one drive this only confuses you. You begin to ask your self “What copy is the current and correct one?”
I find now that I have 3 copies of my music (both external drives and MacBook) I am going to have to try to amalgamate everything into one copy on my MacBook with a backup on one of the two external drives. Hopefully I don’t loose any important songs.
2. External Drives are great to use as primary storage for all documents and digital media
I am finding with my Windows PCs getting full so fast that rather then save to those computers “my documents” folders I just save direct to the secondary or external hard drive this way if the computer crashes all you loose if your desktop stuff (anything you saved on the desktop), Windows and Programs.. not a huge loss but some loss none the less.
This will also save you from having to keep making backups but in some cases your external drive could crash or get damaged before the computer you are using so use this option at your own risk. I do
3. If you have more then one computer make sure you know what data goes where
I find now with having two laptops and one desktop it is hard to know what data is for what and is it for Mac or PC. Is the file I created on my pc able to be opened on my Mac? Is the program I used Mac or PC only?
Always know the files that go to what computer! Make sure that you have access to the programs you need to open those files. IE Microsoft Office, Itunes, Ilife etc.. and when using Mac and PC becareful what fonts you use.
Although PC Fonts can be installed in your Mac, Mac Fonts cannot be installed on your PC and to find the font from the Mac for use on a PC can cost you big.
4. Last but not least Keep your data organized!
Make sure you know what belongs where and make sure you know where everything is stored. It does not matter weather PC or Mac you must keep your files in order. Keeping your files in order helps you to save time trying to figure out where you saved that pesky file.
I like to organize things in to folders with lots of sub-folders here are three examples
A. Music –> Christian –> Artist/Disc –> MP3 File
Music –> Christian –> Artist/Disc –> CD Name –> Mp3 File
B. Church –> Church Department –> Stuff For Department –> File
C. Documents –> Item –> File
Example A: I have the root of my external drive (or documents folder on my desktop/laptop) Music in there is a sub-folder called Christian and then in the sub-folder Christian is a folder marked with the Artist or CD Name then a folder under that with the CD/Album Title and then the MP3 file. Some times if I don’t know the cd/album I will just put the MP3 file in the Artist Folder
Example B: This how I would store all of my church related work/data the root folder is called church then a sub-folder for each department (Sunday, Student Ministries, House of Prayer) and then a sub-folder for each item I am working on for that department (recordings, bible study etc) and then you will find the actual file
Example C: This for if you are using a folder for personal data that is not related to work or volunteering. The root folder is for documents or my documents then a sub folder for the item you are working on (health, finances etc) and then in that sub-folder you will find the file
These are three of the many folders that I have on my computer and external hard drives. I at times have been called the folder king but I know where all my data is and anyone can find what they need in a snap.
I encourage you to keep your data organized like me. But I have learned from helping many people or all ages and generations that we all have our own way of doing things. Some like my mother are like me and some like one senior I help out don’t care where the files go and in turn is always is opening the wrong file and messing it up. So I can show people the way but in the end it is up to you.
My hope is that you get your data in an order that works for.
Till Next Entry
My Prayer Life
By · CommentsHello,
It is 5:27 am and I am wide awake after having a semi-good night sleep and you might be asking yourself what would anyone care about that? Well you may not but it is strange to me. I just read an old entry called “Handling Your Own Affairs” and It reminded me that I had wanted to get up every morning between 5:00 – 5:30 and spend two hours with the Lord starting and prayer and seeing where he wants me to go.
Well it is strange that I was never able to keep that up like I used to. Life for me is difficult. I get up in the morning weather at 5:00 am or 10:00 am and find myself having to take some time to just sit in bed and let my body wake up. If you have been following my blog/journal/diary then you will know that I suffer from Fibromyalgia and it takes me a long time in the morning to get going. I take a boat load of pills for that and it is related conditions and then I get going for the day.
Well this old post reminded me that back in January of 2009 Pastor Derek was preaching a series on the Power of Continual Prayer and that was around the time I made a commitment to myself to get up early before anyone in my house and spend 2 hours a day in prayer.. Well March came by I got sick and BAM! all was done.. by June nothing and by August my prayer life was next to nothing.. It was not until my mentor sparked something in me that I decided to get back in to a prayer life.
Well here we are back in March 1 year later and back in the same position trying yet again to get this right. Plus this month is a month of changes in my life. Yet I look back and it was this time last year that I was still not into a full prayer life. I look at people like Andrea Smith, Pastor Derek, My Mentor and i think to myself “they have it all together” they some how know how to work prayer into their daily schedules and still do all the things they need to get done.
So me being a single man with lots of health issues should be able to do the same.. nadda I suck at this part of my life. Yes I can do the afternoon a week at the church and get some time in with the Lord but that is not enough 1 day a week does not cut it. So I began to think to myself what is it that is keeping me from the lord?
What is it that I am doing wrong. What is it that guys like Ron, Matt, Andrea and Derek have that I don’t. Why is it a man who is called to ministry of some sort still cannot fit in even 15 min to pray. What a looser am I. If I can make time almost every day to write in my blog. then why can I not make time to pray. My priorities are out of whack.
My life this month seems out of balance. My life seems to have the scales tipping towards the world more then the things of God. Is that bad? Yes! Should I re-evaluate DUH! I really gotta sit down and look at my life and Go okay now what? What needs to change.. is it the time I go to bed.. is it the time I spend on the computer, tv, internet etc.. well DUH again this is only part of it.
If I don’t get the most important part of my life in order then nothing will ever fall into place.. I look like I have it all together but really inside my spiritual life is the biggest mess of all right now. Strongholds getting the better of me. Joke I make with friends, and even my thought life right now SUCK!
I find that when I spend time with the Lord my life always falls into place. My jokes are better, and things in ministry seem to get done. That two hours or the time I spend seems to get redeemed back. There is a no secret to going after the things of God put that first and the things of life will fall into place and when you look like you have it all together you do!
I have learned from experience and from my mentor seek the kingdom first and all the things of life will fall right into place.
Try it. I will be this week for sure. Give 15 min and find some one to keep you accountable. My Mentor has been working with someone else like this and his prayer life is off the wall. So why after 3 years with my mentor do I struggle with this. I should be way farther then ever before and yet I am not.
Am I an idiot, am I lazy none of the above. Should I make excuses? No. So what is wrong with me? At the church when I am all alone and there is no technology except my laptop and some music I am fine. At home with two computers, pvr, tv, stereo etc… I cannot turn off ministry I cannot stop working on the things that Lorna, Matt, Sunday needs to get done. Yet I know the key to getting all that done and don’t do it.
Well it is Monday the start of a new week. So lets get my butt in gear and get on this quit talking about it. Move it. Put that music on and get in to the prayer life I so want.
If there is anything the Lord is teaching me it is “I have told you enough now.. JUST DO IT!” I know things from the Lord that I really should not know anything about and yet he still shows me after such a crappy prayer life. Now is the time do it or shut up
Till Next Entry
